THE HIDDEN WHOLENESS: PARADOX IN TEACHING AND LEARNING

CHAPTER III THE HIDDEN WHOLENESS: PARADOX IN TEACHING AND LEARNING

Palmer writes that we are trained to “think the world apart,” dissecting it into either-ors, but we need to learn to “think the world together,” embracing opposites and appreciating paradoxes. The principle of paradox can guide us in thinking about classroom dynamics—and in designing a teaching and learning space that can hold the community of truth.

I.              In what ways have you experienced “suffering” as a student teacher? Has your suffering had any redemptive quality to it; that is, has it made you heart larger? What would help you deepen the redemptive quality of the suffering your experience in your work?

I have experienced many difficult experiences that have led to suffering on my part. Teaching is a very difficult task that requires a lot of determination to be carried out. I have gone through suffering in many situations; for example, when my students misbehave and do not pay attention to me, I become extremely angry. It makes me suffer; however, I perfectly know that it is not appropriate to show them my anger. I get angry although my relational nature often keeps me from expressing my anger in clean and open ways (The Courage to Teach, Chapter III, Page 72). I have come to know that this suffering that I experience while teaching is pure evidence that I am alive. As a result, I have free myself from that kind of suffering and it has made my heart larger towards teaching because I focused more on my gifts rather than in my suffering.

 I think that I may use different methods and techniques that work successfully for my students as well as for me. This will help me to deepen the redemptive qualities of my suffering because by doing so I will be more likely to put in practice my gifts as a teacher. To learn that lesson well, I must take a solitary journey into my own nature and seek the help of others in seeing myself as I am (The Courage to Teach, Chapter III, page 73)

II.            Name some of your key gifts or strengths as a teacher.  Now name a struggle or difficulty you commonly have in teaching. How do you understand the relation between your profile of giftedness and the kind of trouble you typically get into in the classroom?

Every strength is also a weakness, a limitation, a dimension of identity that serves me and others well under some circumstances but not all the time. (The Courage to Teach, Chapter III, page 71)

As we go through the path of life we learn to recognize our strengths and weaknesses as well in whatever we do. Teaching is a very complex task yet highly rewarding. We, who teach, must be aware of our gifts and weaknesses in this field. Personally, I consider that one of my gifts as a teacher is to be always open to my students’ opinions. I am always willing to hear attentively to what they have to say so that they can feel accepted and important in the classroom. 2) The capacity to establish my objectives clearly and the flexibility to a variety of ways of achieving them is also a gift that I, as a teacher, posses. When I start a lesson I have previously established the direction where I want to conduct my class, and if for one reason or another, things do not work the way I had expected in the class, I look for new ways to achieve my goals even If I had to change almost everything that I have planned. I do not give up easily. 3) The desire to engage my students in the class activities is another gift. I always try to look for new techniques in order to make them active participants so that they contribute to build their own knowledge. 4) The capacity to get my students to connect the academic contents with the real life is one of my greatest gifts. When I teach a lesson, I always try to relate it with real experiences so that they can get meaningful and relevant learning to their lives. 5) I am open towards my students’ needs by being friendly but not friend with them.  I think it is very important to know my students very well because in that way I can look for new techniques in order to enhance their learning.

To catch my students’ attention is one of the struggle or difficulties that I commonly face while teaching. Sometimes, the class goes out of control and it is very difficult for me to get my students to pay attention to what I am saying. I think that one of the reasons is that my voice is very soft and that’s why they do not pay attention to me. I tend to speak very low especially when I am dealing with large groups. However, I consider that this doesn’t have to hinder the learning process because as I mentioned above I always try to look for new techniques in order to engage my students in the class activities. I don´t have to let this kind of difficulties be greater than my strengths. 

III.           Describe a moment in teaching when things went so well you knew you were “born to teach” and compare it to a moment in which things went so poorly you wished you had never been born! Name the gifts that made this good moment possible—not the techniques you used or the moves you made, but your qualities.

I have a fond memory of the time I taught High School students. I remember that we were dealing with the Simple Past Tense. I wanted them to relate this grammatical structure with their own lives. So, I asked them to think about a fond memory of their childhood. Then, I asked them to form pairs so that they could share their experiences. Next, I asked them to form small groups of three so that they could know about their classmates’ childhood. I could perceive that they were eager to share their experiences with their classmates. When I asked for volunteers to past to the front to share their experiences, I saw that most of them wanted to participate.  So I gave them the opportunity to share their own experience and what they had heard from their classmates. Everybody was paying attention to what his classmate had to say.  We had a good time because some of their experiences were very funny. I noticed that they liked this kind of activities. I felt so satisfied that I said to myself I was definitely born to teach. Therefore, I agree with Palmer on his take “Becoming aware of our gifts can help us teach more consistently from our identity and integrity” (The Courage to Teach, Chapter III, page 69) When we as teachers perfectly know which our strengths are, we can make a better use of them. As a result, teaching will become more rewarding for us.

This experience with my Junior High School students was completely different from the one I had while teaching Junior High School. I perfectly remember that day. I entered the classroom, and I noticed that they were making too much noise. So, I told them to be quiet because the class was going to start but they did not listen to me. Then, I asked them to make silence in a polite way, and they stopped making noise. I wanted to develop a warm-up activity with them in order that they could get familiarize with the kind of vocabulary we were going to study. I asked them to form two lines but everything went wrong because they started to shout, whistle and to push one another. I asked them to stop but they did not listen to me. One of the boys told me that they didn’t like English classes and that they thought that starting the class with a game was too childish. So, I stopped the activity and began to deliver the lesson. However, they did not behave, and I couldn’t get them to participate in the class. They were doing other things, and some of them were saying nasty words. I felt so angry and so disappointed that I even wanted to cry, but I knew that I couldn’t do that in front of my students.  I think that that has been the worst experience I have ever face while teaching.

I think that my experience with High School students was so memorable because I made use of the gifts I posses as a teacher.  I think that showing them that I was interested in listening what they were saying contributed to form a secure environment in which they could talked about their experiences without fear. They felt confident because they knew that I was not going to judge them, and I was open towards their experiences. Also, I got them to connect the content with the real life because I was willing to share my own experience. In that way, they felt more at ease to participate. Moreover, I tried to show them an attitude of acceptance towards them.

IV.          Palmer discusses six paradoxes of pedagogical design (pp.73-83). Choose one to focus on.  Share examples of teaching environments you have experienced where this paradox is honored. 

The space should be hospitable and charged.

Sometimes, we may find the experience of space a little strange. Besides, we may have the fear of getting lost. Learning spaces need to be hospitable ‘inviting as well as open, safe and reliable as well as free’. When exploring we need places to rest and find sustenance. But if students feel too safe, they may fall in their comfort zone. Space needs to be charged so that they know the risks involved in looking at the deeper aspects of life. No special effects are required for creating this charge- it comes with the territory. We only need fenced the space, fill it with topics of significance, and refuse to let anyone evade or trivialize them (The Courage to Teach, Chapter III, page 75).

I have experienced teaching environments in which this paradox has been honored during my High School teaching practicum. The students, in this case the guests were sitting in a U shape so that everybody could face each other and could listen to the different opinions that may arise in the classroom. In this way, they found a safe and inviting learning environment. They felt that they are equally important in the classroom. I remember that we were dealing with past habits. I showed some pictures to them and they started giving their opinions about what they saw in the picture. Everybody had the opportunity to participate in the activity. In this way, the environment was hospitable because they felt free to participate. Also, it was charged because they had to be paying attention to the pictures I was showing in order to give their opinion. They were actively engaged in the class. I think that this paradox was fully honored.

 Have you ever been in a classroom where only half of the paradox was honored while the other half was ignored? Describe what that classroom was like.

Sometimes, this paradox cannot be completely honored due to many factors that may occur in a class. I remember that once I was developing an activity. I had prepared many tasks for them to be completely engaged in the class. However, it was a failure because the environment was not hospitable. I realized that they were extremely tired and bored. The tension could be felt in the air. I asked them what was happening and some of them told me that they had just finished a very difficult test from another subject. It was almost impossible to get them to be engaged in the class because they were distracted or doing some other things. The class was boring and frustrating because I couldn’t achieve what I wanted.

V.           What questions are you living at this stage of your life—from “How can I get up in the morning? To “How can I become a good teacher? Are the questions you are now living the ones you want to live? If not, what questions would you like to be living? How might you hold these questions at the center of your attention?

I think that questions are present in every day of our lives. The questions that I am living right now are:

·         How can start the day positively?

·         How can I meet my immediate goals? 

·         What can I do in order to improve my level of English?

·         How can I better my teaching skills?

·         What techniques can I use in order to better my language skills?

·         How can I deliver the lessons in a more effective way?

·         How can I get my students to be engaged in my classes?

·         Am I giving my best in order to achieve my goals?

·         Am I going to reach what I want?

These are the questions I am living right now, and they are the questions that I want to live at this point in my life. I consider that by asking them to myself I become aware of what I need to do in order to find the answers. Moreover, they are important questions that will help me to become a better teacher.

I think that I can hold these questions in the center of my attention by having clear objectives and by setting specific goals. I have to be conscious that I will be highly benefited by answering these questions. Moreover, I have to work hard in order to obtain what I want.

A CULTURE OF FEAR: EDUCATION AND THE DISCONNECTED LIFE

I. What are some of your fears in the classroom? How have you dealt with them? What have you learned about yourself and about fear as a result?

The Cambridge Dictionary defines fear as an unpleasant emotion or thought that you have when you are frightened or worried by something dangerous, painful or bad is happening or might happen.

I think that to feel fear while teaching is something natural as we, teachers interact with different kinds of people in a classroom at the same time. One of my biggest fears is the fact that I look too young. And I am afraid of my students not taking me seriously because of that. I have had some bad experiences because of that. The students think that because I look almost the same age as them; they can disrespect me. Besides, I want to be liked by my students. I mean who doesn’t? I think that if they like me, they will feel more comfortable in my classes. They will feel confident while participating and developing the tasks. Also, I am afraid of not making myself clear while delivering the contents. I feel frustrated when I see the faces of my students, and they seem not to understand what I am explaining to them. Besides, I am afraid of not being capable to get my students’ attention, but I think this is natural. As I am a pre-service teacher, I do not have too much experience while teaching. Sometimes, it is difficult to me to deal with the variety of behaviors that typically fill a classroom. I get very frightened when the class goes out of control.

I think that there is always a way to deal with fears. Definitely, I cannot change the fact that I look too young, but I have learned that if I show what I am capable of and treat my students with respect; they will learn to respect me as well. Also, I have learned that not everybody is going to like me in the classroom. I just have to manage to treat my students fairly; no matter if they do not like me. I have learned that if I am always worried about what my students think about me, I won’t deliver the lessons effectively because I would be thinking of something else. Sometimes, I am afraid of not making myself clear but as I have gone through my teaching experience I have learned that there is more than one way to explain and deliver the lessons. I may choose the most suitable method for the students so that they can grasp the content. To catch students’ attention is a very difficult task, and sometimes, it is hard to me to do so. What I have learned is that I can use different techniques that can be adapted to my students needs so that they will be interested in what is happening in the classroom.

I have learned that if I, as a teacher let my fears to take the control, I won’t be able to teach effectively. The students are able to perceive when a teacher is afraid of something, and sometimes, this can lead to unpleasant situations in the classroom. This may hinder the learning process.

II. Palmer writes, “Good teaching is an act of hospitality toward the young, and hospitality is always an act that benefits the host even more than the guest”

(p. 50). 

Hospitality is the friendly, generous reception and entertainment of guest, visitors, or strangers. To be hospitable is to offer a home away from home to meet needs and offer rest to those in need (Sunday School Teacher's Manual)

 I consider that this is a very accurate insight about teaching because in this case, Palmer sees teachers as “hosts”. The teacher is the one who makes the invitation to the students the “guests”. Teachers invite students to a meal where the principal banquet is knowledge. Palmer suggests teachers to see the classroom as their home. When we invite someone to our home, we want that person to feel comfortable, welcomed and cared for. It is the same in the art of teaching. Teachers’ invitation towards students has to be warm, kind and respectful. As a result, the gift sustenance for the guests  becomes a gift of hope for the host ( The Courage To Teach, Chapter II page 50).

In what specific ways do you think a teacher has to be hospitable to students?

 I consider that the best way to be hospitable towards students is creating a safe environment in which students feel comfortable and accepted. When we, teachers create this atmosphere in the classroom, our students feel at ease to develop the different activities and they are more willing to be engaged in the classroom. Also, when we listen and take into account our students’ opinion we make them feel that they are an important part in the learning community. As a result, the students’ needs will be accomplished. If teachers treat students as welcomed guests, students will overcome their fears. The learning process won’t be perceived as a mechanical interchange of knowledge. The learning process will take place in an environment in which each of the participants is equally important. I think that there are many more things that a teacher can do in order to be hospitable towards his students such as arriving on time and greeting his students guests at the door, beginning and ending the class on time, learning students’ names since the beginning of the course and calling them by their names when asking questions. By doing this, students will feel comfortable in the classroom, and they will see that teachers take them seriously.

In what ways do they treat them as unwelcome guests?

A teacher treats his students as unwelcomed guests when he doesn’t establish a good rapport with them. Students won’t feel comfortable because this will create a tense environment, and teachers won’t have the opportunity to know their students and their needs. Also, teachers are bad hosts when they have any kind of preferences with a certain group of students. The rest of the students won’t feel important, and as a result, the classroom won’t have a sense of community. Moreover, when teachers do not care about what students feel or think. It is important to bear in mind that students are not recipients that we have to fill with knowledge. They are persons who bring their problems and feelings to the classroom. When teachers do not make students feel that they are interested in what happen to them, students feel that teachers do not care about them. When teachers do not establish a good relationship with students, the learning process is not effective.

How do teachers benefit from practicing hospitality towards students?

Teachers obtain great benefits by being hospitable towards students. One of those benefits is the satisfaction that teacher experience when his students feel at ease to be engaged in the different activities that are developed in the lessons. Students will be no longer anxious or fearful of expressing their ideas in the classroom. This will permit teachers to have a more interactional and active class which is good because learning is reciprocal. Hospitality gives the opportunity to teachers and students to learn from each other. Students will be glad to be in a classroom in which they feel accepted and safe. Being hospitable will help the teacher to create a sense of community in the classroom that will help to enhance the learning process.

III. Write about a fear, not necessarily related to teaching that once controlled

you, but no longer does. What caused you to confront that fear? What helped you get loose from it? What were the results? What did you learn?

I remember that when I was a child I was such as a shy girl that I was afraid of talking in public. I couldn’t help shaking when I was in front of a large audience. I remember that when I was in junior high school, I had to give a speech on moral values. I thought that I was prepared because I had read a lot. However, when I was in front of everybody, I felt that everybody was staring at me. As a result, I began shaking and my voice turned into a trembling voice until I got speechless. It was so embarrassing that I ran backstage to hide me from everybody. I discovered that I suffer from glossophobia which is the term used to the fear of public speaking. As years went by, I decided that I no longer had be controlled by this fear because if I continued in that situation I was not going to be able to succeed in the major I wanted to study. I had already decided to study something related to teaching. I knew that it was the time for taking action in other to overcome my fear. I began to make use of different techniques such as getting well prepared, practicing in front of a mirror and practicing in front of my family. They served as my audience. As a result, I began to be more active in the scholar activities. Although, I hadn’t completely overcome my fear of talking in public, I learned how to control it. I was no longer the shy girl that I used to be. I learned that if one has the determination to overcome fears, one can achieve it.

IV. Evelyn Fox Keller says of Nobel Prize—winner Barbara McClintock that her knowing came from “the highest form of love, love that allows for intimacy without the annihilation of difference” (pp. 55). Does this kind of love have a place in education? If not, why not? If so, how might it be taught? How might it make a difference if we could teach students to love the world in this way?

I think that this kind of love does have a place in education. I consider that it should be taught in a way that allows students to see beyond the differences among individuals and to appreciate those differences. By doing so, the relationship among teacher-student and student-student becomes highly gratifying because they share certain intimacy in the educational environment in which they interact. Certainly, it would make a big difference in the educational environment if teachers could teach students to love the world in this way. If we could teach students to profess this kind of love that respects everybody’s differences, students wouldn’t be afraid of each other. They wouldn’t be afraid to show others who they really are because difference is what constitute uniqueness in human beings. People are used to thinking that students are the only ones who experience fear in the classroom, but the teacher also goes through this. Teachers as well as students are afraid of not being accepted for who they are. McClintok gained valuable knowledge by empathizing with her corn plants, submerging herself in their world  and dissolving the boundary between object and observe (The Courage to teach, chapter II, page 55). This can be perfectly applied in the classroom because teachers must defeat the barrier between teacher-astudent in order to provide meaningful education to them. A teacher must get invoveld in the sudents' world so that he  understand the needs that they have. In this way the learning process will be reciprocal among teachers and students. Knowing is how we make community with the unavailable of others, with realities that would elude without the connective tissue of knowledge. Knowing is a human way to seek relationship, and in the process, to have encounters and exchanges that will inevitably alter us. As it deepest reaches, knowing is always communal (The Courage to teach, Chapter II, page 54). This shows us that teaching goes beyond delivering lessons. If students were taught this kind of love, their relationships would become authentic.

“Fear is fundamental to the human condition and to the academic culture. we will always have our fears—but we need not be our fears.”